


So Simple

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-26
Updated: 2004-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-07 03:44:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10351581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Spoilers: "Ascension" (set smack dab in the middle of it)Summary: I always wondered, during "Ascension", why Jack was so harsh toCarter when she came in with proof she was being spied on?  And thenit hit me...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Stargate SG-1 Fanfiction - So Simple

##  So Simple

##### Written by Ozymandia  
Comments? Write to us at [dana@ozymandia.org](mailto:dana@ozymandia.org)

  * SPOILERS: Ascension. Set smack dab in the middle of it. 
  * SUMMARY: I always wondered, during Ascension, why Jack was so harsh to Carter when she came in with proof she was being spied on. And then it hit me... 
  * PG [Hu] 



* * *

Jack O'Neill really had to pee.

It was his own fault, really. He had spent the entire morning in dull briefings, and had drunk a lot of coffee to stay awake.

After he had been dismissed, he had been stopped outside the briefing room by a couple of airmen, to deal with some routine questions.

Then, he had run into Daniel. The ten minute discussion of the logistics of the underwater society on P3X-97T didn't help his comfort level by any stretch of the imagination.

But now, his goal was in sight. The holy grail -- the men's room – was just down the hall.

He heard footsteps behind him, and he quickened his pace, determined to reach the washroom before his pursuer could reach him.

"Colonel."

Damn, Jack thought. So close. He kept walking as Carter caught up to him and matched his fast pace.

"Look at this," she said, holding up a plastic clock. Jack recognized it as one he had seen in her house when he had gone to check out her alien visitor. It was unremarkable, a gunmetal grey frame encasing a plain black face.

"So?" His bladder was becoming more insistent. If he didn't get there soon, he was sure it would explode. He moved faster, hoping that Carter would either get to the point or fall behind.

"So, it was in my house." Plastic snapped, and the clock was open, the miniature camera obvious within the sparse workings of the modern timepiece.

Jack was surprised. He'd been assured personally by the head of the Code Three team that every piece of surveillance equipment had been removed from Carter's house. Thoughts swirled around in his mind, scenarios that disturbed him almost as much as his bladder. He forced himself to keep calm, feigning a nonchalance that he didn't feel.

"So they forgot one, Carter," he said, not believing his own words for a moment. NID, a voice in his head whispered. He'd go straight to Hammond with this, and scream until they heard him in Washington. No one spied on his team – and he had no doubt that they'd find these devices in all their houses, now that they knew – no one could possibly justify the invasion of privacy of people who had saved this planet more times than he could count.

They'd be hearing all about it, just as soon as he relieved himself. The pressure was becoming painful. If he didn't get to a washroom soon, they'd be scraping bits of his bladder off the ceilings of the corridor. He could see the door to the washroom now. He was so close...

"Are you sure?"

Damn, but she was way smarter than all of them, Jack thought. "No," he answered honestly, slowing down and stopping in front of the men's room. He knew he should have a proper conversation, but the pressure in his gut was getting more and more intense, and if he didn't get in there right now he was going to have a hard time hiding the damage to his uniform. He reached for the handle.

"Sir." Usually Jack admired Carter's persistence, but right now he didn't have time. If she would wait just five minutes, just five more minutes, he'd gladly sit and listen to her talk about anything. Little grey men and conspiracies could damn well wait for five minutes... couldn't they? "Is the SGC secretly keeping tabs on me?"

Another surprise, and for a brief moment Jack forgot about the urinal calling his name on the other side of the door. The SGC? Spying on them? He wanted to say no, but really, could they ever be sure...

"Secretly?" he said, going for humour. He turned to face Carter, and regretted it immediately. She was deadly serious, and deserved his attention. But the washroom was so close...

"Sir, I did my duty in reporting the alien encounter and now everyone thinks I'm crazy."

Jack knew he should care,knew he should listen closely to everything she was saying and talk her through this calmly, but right now he couldn't think of anything other than getting on the other side of the door, and dropping his trousers. He hadn't been this close to wetting himself since he was a kid, and he really didn't want to start anyone thinking he was losing control of his bodily functions.

He turned back to face her. "Look Carter," he said, hoping that she would finally get the hint and let him go. "The bottom line is this. No one has seen what you've seen, and until that happens, we're all going to think you're nuts."

She paused then, and Jack was hopeful, really hopeful, that she was going to turn and walk away.

"Purely hypothetically, as my superior officer, if this alien did show itself again..."

Jack's curiosity returned. This hypothetical situation didn't sound quite as hypothetical as Carter's words implied. She was obviously still seeing... whatever, and was looking for a way to be taken seriously without going through another psych eval. He could understand that, and figured it couldn't hurt to agree. At the very least, it would give him time to use the facilities and consider what she was saying when the pressure was off, so to speak.

So he agreed.

After several seconds it became obvious that she wasn't going to leave, and Jack's patience had completely run out.

"I've got to pee," he announced, his sense of decorum gone. He turned, opened the door, and dashed inside.

The room was empty, and Jack made his way to the nearest urinal. As he was overcome with relief, the last ten minutes came back in agonizing detail, playing in his mind like a bad movie.

He'd actually brushed off his very distraught second in command. She had come to him in confidence. She had asked him about a terrible invasion of her privacy, and he had reassured her by calling her crazy.

As Jack washed his hands, he stared at his reflection. When had he become so callous? He knew he was a good leader, and several of his previous teams had told him that he was sympathetic, and they appreciated it.

He tried to think of where that sympathy had gone, and was at a loss.

He left the washroom and headed towards Carter's lab, thinking he should talk to her, explain his actions, and apologize.

She wasn't there, though; a partially dismantled black and grey clock on the counter glared at him accusingly, letting him know that she had already been and gone. Jack picked up the phone, called the gatehouse, and was surprised to learn that Carter had already left for home.

Jack headed for the elevator, knowing that somehow he needed to make Sam understand that it wasn't personal, that he did believe in her even if he didn't currently believe her. The doors opened, and Jack walked into the elevator, stopping in disbelief as he took in the scene in front of him. "Teal'c," he said with a grin.

"O'Neill."

Jack looked up at the Jaffa, not believing the Western garb he had on. "Where you going dressed like that?" he asked.

"It is Friday night," Teal'c said sombrely. "Is it not the night to go out and tie one up?"

There was a long pause as Jack tried to sort that one out. "You mean 'tie one on'?" The lip curved upwards just a few millimetres, letting Jack know that he had interpreted the joke correctly. He chuckled. "I suppose it is."

"I was going to watch the story of a great warrior," Teal'c continued, "and his battle with the forces of evil."

Jack grinned mischievously. "Die Hard?"

There was a low chuckle from Teal'c. "Indeed not, O'Neill. I refer to the great Tau'ri epic, Star Wars."

"Epic, hunh?" Teal'c bowed his head slightly. Jack thought about Carter, and how she was a fan of science fiction. Maybe he could kill a couple of birds with one stone. "What do you say to picking up a couple of pizzas, and heading over to Carter's to cheer her up a bit."

"That would be most enjoyable," Teal'c said.

Jack's grin grew wider and he slapped his friend on the back. The guilt he had been feeling started to evaporate. "All right then. Let's get going. Can't keep Carter sitting at home all night on her own, now can we?"

He headed out into the cold night air glad that this was going to be simple.

**The End**

  


* * *

  


>   
>  Author's Notes: This is for joag, just because. ;)
> 
> Thanks to BabsN for her fortitude in beta'ing this after attending an all night LotR marathon. Hell, I admire her fortitude to be able to just *sit* through the LotR marathon... ;)
> 
> Comments and Criticism welcome. Flames will be flambed with the liquour of their choice.

* * *

>   
>  © January 2004 The characters mentioned in this story are the  
>  property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and  
>  all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together  
>  with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA  
>  Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret  
>  Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not  
>  intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for  
>  entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are  
>  the sole property of the author.  
> 

* * *

  



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